Cici Dancer

Living is Healing and Growing

  • A day in the life of xxx

    The day has been dragging in a in-between stage of stream of consciousness and functionality.  She has barely moved from her chair.  Her fingers and eyes are moving from item to item, ticking off the to-do-list. Physical motivation is in place.  Yet somewhere in her body, in the back of her head, or the very…

  • Disconnection and rebalancing

    A little kid poked his head into our door way right as I was about to step out with our daughter.  His expressive body won my heart immediately as he did the first time I met him outside the library.  A new kid on the block brought a new perspective. His ability to build connection…

  • I want a more intimate relationship with failure

    My relationship with failure has never been close. I have not failed enough. I had plenty of misses. However, I limited the quantity of failures by only doing relatively safe things. Even if I do not intentionally refrain from somethings for fear of failure, I know now that I subconsciously steered myself to safer endeavors….

  • Happiness is the calm acceptance of the moment

    As I walked across campus to meet students one morning, this thought occurred to me. I am happier than I have ever been. Yet, on the outside, I must appear less interesting to some. When I was younger, I sought out the company of many. I was lonely and empty. I needed a lot. The…

  • Recognize, Feeling and Fighting traumatic pain in real time–a personal story

    I started this piece about many months before I left Korea. I am just now having a little time to complete it. The traumatic consequences described here is at the center of many internal struggles. It is still part of my daily struggle. I do not believe I will ever be rid of it, but…

  • Soft on the outside and hard on inside?

    A SKILL FEW HAVE MASTERED…. Do you think I can do that? After 3 plus months of waiting outside of the border, lengthy and tedious visa application, a flight ticket that gambled on the punctual delivery of our passport by the postal service, 3 covid tests, 2 weeks of quarantine, we finally arrived at the…

This is how it all started…

My journey began with pain, like many of us. Whether it is the pain we cause our moms coming into this world or the one I have experienced in the sudden disconnect in relationships, changes are happening in the painful processes. While I or you would never purposefully seek such pain, we can decide to respond in ways that benefit us when those sensations assail us. So as I was experiencing the feeling of betrayal, the feeling of being punched in the gut awakened energy in me to expand. When you are in pain, do you strike back, freeze in place, or embrace it so it becomes a part of your growth?

Cecilia D.

Writer & Coach & Therapist