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Paying the Price
Feeling caught between two worlds: the one that refuses to feel and makes my feelings feel wrong, while the other almost indulges in feeling and needs others to empathize and validate. Two sides of the same coin. I know of people who, like me, invested in the feeling of the world and even wallow in…
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Letting go one more inch…
“You probably think it holds true for artists in general, male artists: that they aren’t built for what I am calling love; that they can’t and won’t give themselves fully for the simple reason that there is a secret essence of themselves they need to preserve for the sake of their art.” I just read…
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Mourning Step ?: Denial
I am still In love with the idea of what we could be. Whatever we were and whomever we were to each other, the time has passed. Somewhere along the line, he lost the need for my emotional strength while I demanded more of what he could offer me. Maybe both of us…
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Another Addiction Rejected
His curtains would cost 8000 RMB(about 1100 dollars). He casually informed me, in a taxi ride for the family time we still tried to keep weekly for our daughter’s sake, admitting he might have spent more than he would with my help. He also used his silence to reject my offer of contacting my sales…
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Addiction to Incessant effort
Even though I had a distinct felt sense that I did not know how to be close to my husband within 3 months of moving in with him 15 years ago, I stayed. My fear of loneliness was stronger than that of being with the wrong person. My fear fought with my feeling that I…
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This is how it all started…
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William Smith
Writer & Journalist