Cici Dancer

Living is Healing and Growing

  • Hello Again Cicidancer, byebye Marriage, and Onward in my journey alone

    It has been 2 years since I decided to take a break from this safe place that I created to heal from my relationship wounds. It was at a point in my life that I felt my partner and I had grown a lot, since we had a near relationship-death scare when I found out…

  • au revoir to my cicidancer blog, for now

    I wanted to write a goodbye for my cicidancer blog.  It has been a while since I updated.  It has always been on my mind. Work(meeting with clients, volunteer counseling group, probono 1 on 1),  other writing(such as notes or my Chinese blog) and reading(such as (psychology studies and fictional literatures) had taken precedence. I…

  • The beauty in loneliness

    As I stood on the sunniest spot on the lawn, in the middle of the a new lunch place we discovered, the Italian farm, I felt the familiar sensation of loneliness. It was a feeling I grew up with.  Perhaps as the only child, I never had much company.  Preoccupied with getting top ranking to…

  • The mastery of ups and downs

    The ups and downs of my own diet reminds me of the ups and downs of everything. After stuffing myself beyond the disciplined level of fullness, a measure I have been trying to live by lately, I found myself at my bathroom sink, enacting another regime, brushing my teeth. This can help cut off further…

  • Am I firm enough as a mom? an exploration of my latest insecurity

    I have been questioning if I have been firm enough with my child. That familiar struggle between the liberal American side and my Chinese upbringing. What would we do without some anxiety in our life? It keeps things interesting 🙂 I find myself confessing my qualm to acquaintances, people whom I would otherwise not seek…

  • Making friends, when out of practice

    Making friends seemed to be a full time job when I was in my teens and 20s.  Now that I am a 40-plus year old woman with a career, child and husband, I am too busy and lazy to make new friends.  I could say I do not need more friends.  It might be true,…

This is how it all started…

My journey began with pain, like many of us. Whether it is the pain we cause our moms coming into this world or the one I have experienced in the sudden disconnect in relationships, changes are happening in the painful processes. While I or you would never purposefully seek such pain, we can decide to respond in ways that benefit us when those sensations assail us. So as I was experiencing the feeling of betrayal, the feeling of being punched in the gut awakened energy in me to expand. When you are in pain, do you strike back, freeze in place, or embrace it so it becomes a part of your growth?

Cecilia D.

Writer & Coach & Therapist